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Where the fuck did all my forks go?

September 16, 2011

So seriously, I think we have a little gnome or pixie or something that lives secretly in our house. We used to have a lot of forks. Slowly over time, they’ve been disappearing. Seriously. I think we have like 2 left and one of them is a toddlers Transformers fork. What the hell am I supposed to eat my noodles with? You can’t really eat spaghetti with a spoon.. or a knife for that matter. I really wish I could find the hiding place these gnomes are taking my forks because I want them back. I’m pretty sure when all of my forks are gone they’re going to start in on my spoons because apparently they don’t want me to have anything to eat with so I have to sit here and eat with my hands and look like an idiot. They’re assholes, the fork stealing gnomes that is.
So, if you want to donate to my “I need forks so I continue to eat like a normal human being” fund. Please let me know. Comment or email me or something.
Please. I really need forks. OR, if you know about these damn gnomes, let me know what you know so I can seek them out and get my damned forks back, motherfuckers..

Anyways. I promise I’ll post an actual post tomorrow. Promise. Maybe.. Possibly. I may be a little drunk considering its Kelly’s 21st birthday. It might be fun to blog while intoxicated.
We’ll see.

One Comment leave one →
  1. September 22, 2011 2:33 am

    Sorry about your missing forks. It happens to socks here.

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